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Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (Any %) (Single Segment)

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It's 15 minutes faster and there's probably only 30 seconds that could be improved. There's the occasional missed combo and bits of luck-based stuff that could've gone better, but the route is by far optimal.

Video quality is fine, commentary is extremely detailed.

It's good, throw it on.


Audio/Visual is good.  The runner even mentions a brief blip in the visual, I wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't said anything.  Definitely no cheating, other than abusing the castle's stain glass windows for item cloning.

I'll first say, this run is POPPIN'!!!

It's a massive improvement thanks to a route change and jewel abuse.  Massive.  Can we say the Astral Knife is retired?  Hol-E C-Rap.  There were a few moments that got an audible response from me.  Notably, the Joachim fight, poor fool.  And Walter got Leon's whip put fat end first in his ass and then ripped out with no Vaseline.  And using the Axe for faster movement was a no-brainer.  The Jade Mask was also a pleasant surprise. 

Good God, just ACCEPT this.

Sorry I do not have anything particularly useful to add. Everything was already said that I would say. I agree, accept the damned thing. Also it's your turn to play Lifeline now, Dragondarch. Get on it.

The Eds-trvagant Duplicator
Not written by Danny Antonucci, Jono Howard, Mike Kubat, Geoff Berner, or Rachel Connor

Scene 1
Location: Edd's room.
Scenario: Edd is sorting and counting his marble collection.

Edd: Three-thousand-forty-four, three-thousand-forty-five, three-thousand-forty-six...

[Eddy busts through the door to Edd's room without knocking.]


[Eddy crashes into Edd and Edd's marble collection, sending everything flying. As both lay on the floor, several marbles land on each one's head.]

Edd: marble...collection...*sob* [Face grows angry] EDDY! What did I tell you about barging into my room with your grubby shoes! And look what you did to my beautiful marble collection! I almost had it all sorted out by size and color, using the RGB Hexadecimal system.

Eddy: Forget your marble collection! I've come across the most amazing thing ever! YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!

[Edd sighs.]

Edd: What? Did you see a piece of toast that looks like Abraham Lincoln again? Or is it George Washington this time?

Eddy: No, this is even better. You have to come and see!

[Eddy grabs Edd's wrist and yanks him out of the room.]
[Scene transition.]

Scene 2
Location: Outside of the Peach Creek Candy Shop
Scenario: Gathering to show off the World's Largest Jawbreaker

[Eddy, who's still carrying Edd by the wrist, comes flying into the scene.]


[Eddy stops, lets go of Edd who goes flying into a pole, part of the barrier surrounding the jawbreaker.]

Edd: [Edd is rubbing his head.] Eddy, this better be good in order to... [sees the jawbreaker] MY!

Eddy: What did I tell you? This thing is AMAZING!

Edd: This is the biggest jawbreaker I've ever seen!

Eddy: Uh, duh. [Eddy slaps Edd with the "World's Largest Jawbreaker" sign.] That's what the sign says.

Edd: This is an incredible thing of beauty. I wish I could get a taste of that.

Eddy: Or how about own it? That's enough jawbreaker to last us FOREVER!

Edd: For...ever.

[Edd starts dreaming of licking the jawbreaker, but Dream Edd is disgusted to see Dream Eddy licking it in a different location.]

Edd: [Edd shakes his head quickly, as if shaking off the dream.] Wait, this thing isn't for sale Eddy. Why are we wanting something we can't have?

Eddy: Oh Double D. You think way too small. [Grabs Edd around the head.] You see, we may not be able to have this jawbreaker, but yet...we can.

Edd: I...I'm terribly confused. How can we have it and yet not? It's scientifically impossible to own and yet not own the same item!

Eddy: Oh, but my dear Edd...we can.

[Edd starts twitching his head in utter confusion.]

Edd: But...but that's logically, scientifically, completely impossible! [Edd finally squeezes out of Eddy's grasp.] This defies the laws of physics! [Grabs Eddy's face] THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!

Eddy: Daw, [shyfully waves his hand in front of his face, which hits Edd across his] you're so silly. For you see, dear Double D, I..the great, magnificent Eddy...have a plan.

[Edd gets up and rubs the cheek that was just slapped.]

Edd: What kind of plan have...

[Eddy grabs Edd's wrist again.]


[Eddy zips away with Edd in tow, again.]
[Scene transition.]

Scene 3
Location: A sewer cap in the cul-de-sac.
Scenario: Eddy is showing Edd his super secret plan.

[Eddy lets go of Edd, again. Edd goes flying onto the pavement, landing on the sewer cap.]

Eddy: And here is the location of my super secret plan!

Edd: A...sewer cap?

Eddy: Yep!

[Edd gets up in a flash, grabbing Eddy by the collar.]

Edd: You messed up my marble collection, threw me into a pole, and then dragged me around to see...a SEWER CAP?

Eddy: SHH! Don't reveal the secret spot!

Edd: secret? Everybody has seen this spot! It's in the middle of the street! How can you NOT see it?

Eddy: Because nobody knows what it's capable of doing.

Edd: What...are you talking about? [Edd drops his arms.]

Eddy: Do you know why there are never any cars in this cul-de-sac?

Edd: Because we're too young to drive?

Eddy: Because they're all afraid of the CURSE.

Edd: Curse? CURSE?!

Eddy: Watch, and learn.

[Eddy sakes out a jawbreaker from his pocket and places it on the center of the sewer cap. Nothing visually changes.]

Edd: Uh, nothing is happening.

Eddy: Oh, but it has. Watch, my dear student as the teacher blows your mind.

[Eddy picks up the jawbreaker as one stays right where it was.]

[Edd's eyes go bug-eye.]


[Edd picks up the jawbreaker on the spot, but nothing appears in its place.]

Eddy: Sorry Double D. It only works for whoever puts the item in the original spot. But it seems it can duplicate any inanimate object. But that's the secret reason why cars never come here.

[Eddy zips next to Edd and pulls him in close.]

Eddy: [whispers] It's because of a secret government experiment that went wrong. They thought nobody would ever figure it out. After all, who would put anything on the center of a sewer cap?


Eddy: And this will stay only between...

[Ed walks up and grabs both Edd and Eddy around the neck, one under each arm.]


[Eddy breaks free of Ed's grip, jumps behind him and pushes his head down.]

Eddy: [loud whisper] SHU!!! Don't just TELL everybody what's going on Ed!

Ed: Uh...what?

Eddy: Here's the plan. Meet me at the candy store at midnight tonight. We're gonna roll that giant jawbreaker down to here, duplicate it, then put it back where it was. They'll never know and we'll have our own giant jawbreaker! We can then get people to pay to see it and be in jawbreaker heaven forever!

Edd: I...I'm not sure it's gonna work out that...

Eddy: It's TOTALLY gonna work. Now, midnight. Candy Store. BE THERE!

[Eddy zips off towards his house. Ed lets go of Edd.]


[Ed runs off after Eddy while Edd shrugs his shoulders.]
[Scene transition.]

Scene 4
Location: In front of the world's largest gumball, at midnight
Scenario: Ed, Edd, and Eddy are getting ready to put their plan into action.

[Eddy and Ed walk in wearing darker color clothing while Edd is in bright clothes.]

Eddy: Double D! Why are you dressed like that? Do you WANT us to get caught?

Edd: But we must be concerned about our safety! We need to be visible to moving traffic!

[Eddy facepalms.]

Eddy: Whatever. Forget it. Just help me push this thing.

Edd: Push...the giant jawbreaker? But...what if we get dirty? What if we get caught? What...IF WE BREAK IT?!

Eddy: [holds hand high, then lowers it quickly] Psh. You worry too much! Come on, let's push this thing to the secret spot.

[Edd and Eddy start pushing the giant jawbreaker while Ed stands, staring dumbly. Edd and Eddy grunt but fail to budge the giant jawbreaker.]

Ed: Duh...should I be pushing too?

Eddy: No, you dummy. Just stand there and watch!

Ed: Uh, ok!

[Eddy stops pushing, then smacks Ed in the back of the head.]

Eddy: Of course you should push! I'm the brains! YOU are the brawn of this operation! Why are you just standing over there anyways! Get over here and push!

[Ed prances over while Eddy walks back. All 3 start pushing the jawbreaker.]

[All 3 grunt as they push. They manage to get the jawbreaker off its stand.]

Eddy: Great! We got it. Now we just...

[Giant jawbreaker starts to roll away, down the hill away from the Eds.]


[Edd and Eddy zoom after it. Ed stares blankly before trotting after the other two.]

[The giant jawbreaker continues down the hill, rolling down the street. It perfectly follows a curve. The Eds continue in hot pursuit.

Edd: This is part of your brainy plan?

Eddy: So I forgot about the hill! Whatever. We've got to stop it!

Edd: But how? The greater mass means it has much more velocity than us!

Eddy: English, Double D!

Edd: We're not gonna catch it this way!

Eddy: Then we take a different route. Follow me!

[Eddy takes off in a different direction, hoping to cut off the jawbreaker. Edd and Ed follow him though the neighborhood.]

[The trio arrives at the cul-de-sac and reach the sewer cap.]

Edd: So what's your plan?

Eddy: If we can't bring it to the spot, we'll bring the spot to it! Hurry and pick this thing up!

[The Eds each grab the cap at a spot and lift it. The struggle to bring it down the street before the racing jawbreaker passes the end of the cul-de-sac.]

Eddy: Hurry guys! It's almost here!

[The Eds move even faster.]

Eddy: Ok, we made it! Set it down, quick!

[The Eds set down the sewer cap in the middle of the street. They move out to the sides to watch the giant jawbreaker pass by.]

Eddy: Alright! And's time!

[The giant jawbreaker runs over the cap, but nothing happens. Eddy's jaw drops.]

Eddy: But...BUT IT SHOULD! AHHHHHH!!!! What do we do?!

Edd: Face defeat?

Eddy: [Grabs Edd's collar] NEVER! Not when we have the chance of a lifetime! We need to lead it through the cul-de-sac! COME ON!

[Eddy continues his grasp of Edd while zooming off screen in chase. Ed just stands where he is, staring dumbly.]

[The giant jawbreaker continues down the street towards a t-intersection.]

Eddy: On no! It's gonna run into that house!

[The giant jawbreaker mysteriously turns left at the intersection, as if moved by some mysterious force. Ed and Eddy stop in their tracks.]


Eddy: Wait, isn't the street it's on a curve, Double D?

Edd: Yeah, but what does that matter? It made a physically impossible left turn!

Eddy: Because I think that street leads back towards the cul-de-sac.

Edd: Huh? Why does...

[Shocked expression on Edd and Eddy's faces.]

Edd and Eddy: THE SECRET SPOT!

[Both Edd and Eddy zoom back towards the cul-de-sac. The giant jawbreaker continues down the street, following the curve and heads towards the cul-de-sac where the secret duplicator spot is. Ed stands where he was, but now staring dumbly down the other street towards where the jawbreaker is coming from now.]

Ed: Uh, hey guys! It's coming back!

[Edd and Eddy are running back towards Ed.]

Eddy: The sewer cap! We need to get it back into place!

Edd: We don't have enough time!

Eddy: Ed! Put the cap back into place! HURRY!

Ed: Uh...ok!

[Ed picks up the cap with surprising ease and starts spinning around, before throwing it like a discus. Suddenly, the jawbreaker comes towards Ed, running him over.]

Ed: Uh...ow?

Edd: *gasp*

Eddy: Please please please please...

[The action goes into slow motion, showing the sewer cap slightly ahead of the giant jawbreaker. The cap starts descending, before neatly landing where it belongs, just before the giant jawbreaker reaches the same spot. As it crosses, a duplicate appears right at the secret spot. The original giant jawbreaker zooms past the spot, whizzing between a couple of houses back towards town.]

[Edd and Eddy are now alongside Ed. Edd's jaw drops while Eddy jumps in celebration.]


[All 3 Eds run down the street with smiles on their faces. They all surround the giant jawbreaker, latching on to it and start licking it ferociously.]

Edd: Oh I don't know how you are physically possible, but you exist! You really do!

Eddy: Heaven! I'm in jawbreaker heaven!

Ed: May we never wake up from this dream.

Eddy: Dream? This is no dream, Ed!

Ed: Yes it is! See those puffy clouds?

[Edd and Eddy look up, to see the world around them surrounded in clouds. The camera pans out to see Eddy dreaming the entire sequence.]

Dream Eddy: No no no no! Don't wake up, me! DON'T WAKE UP!

[The sun rises and starts beaming light through the window into Eddy's room. He starts to awake.]

Eddy: NO!!!!!!

[The cloud poofs. Eddy rubs his eyes, sits up, and stretches in bed.]

Eddy: Ah...what a nice dream. World's largest jawbreaker. Yeah, that day would never...

[Suddenly, Eddy realizes that everything was a dream. He goes bug-eyed.]

Eddy: ...A DREAM?!

[Eddy dashes out of bed and zooms out to the cul-de-sac. Sadly as he arrives, there is nothing there. Everything is perfectly normal. He stops and stares at where the giant jawbreaker was in his dream.]

Eddy: No...I can't accept this!

[Ed and Edd walk towards Eddy.]

Edd: Uh, Eddy? Why are you out here in your pajamas?

Eddy: [Towards the sky, loudly.] WHY?!!!!!!!!

[Ed and Edd look towards the camera and shrug. Transition to black.]

[Cue credits.]


Decision: Accept

Congratulations to Damien 'Dragondarch' Moody!
Thread title:  
Fucking Weeaboo
Congrats, Dragondarch.
+2 against silly
Congrats! I know how hard you've been working on this game. Like, seriously. Great that it's finally here!
For those who don't want to wait for it to go up on the site:

And thanks to all the verifiers for the comments. I'm confident that sub 34:30 is possible, but I just need such a break from this category it's not even funny. Probably do Pumpkin any% next. LICORICE KILLER!
Some awesome boss strats. I never knew you could jump over Medusa's eye laser. Also, locking the Golem with cross sub weapon, and sub weapon use in the Undead Parasite fight were amazing and too many other things to mention. Best gameplay of this game.