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I was just wondering who writes the game descriptions that are featured at the top of each game's page? Maybe I'm remembering wrong, but I thought Kingdom Hearts had a different description posted a couple days ago. Either way I always enjoy reading them.
Thread title:  
Fucking Weeaboo
Depends.  Sometimes it's the staff, sometimes it's the runner.  Depends on how popular the game is.
You got a deletion wish?
Quote from Lord_VG:
Sometimes it's the staff, sometimes it's the runner.  Depends on how popular the game is.

Or a verifier.  MK: Shaolin Monks and The Bouncer were written by me, the former at you know who's request.
Everything's better with Magitek
I wrote the Kingdom Hearts description.  I was late getting it to Mike, so that's why it was different at first.  I've also written the descriptions for 4 other games (3 for games that I ran, and the other for one that I verified).
Never give up!
And sometimes the administration will mix and match.  The description for Might and Magic VI was done that way.

I was involved in the writing for that one (the "like almost any other 'save the world' story" bit was mine), the Rise of Nations description, and the Ironsword description.  And those are the ones I remember for sure.
I've written a couple of descriptions back in the day when they were not meant to be funny or absurd. (and Radix terrorized the lands with his terrifying breath of ... .... terrifyiness? )
sda loyalist
'Terror' Sad

I've done a few, too.
everybody wanna tell you the meaning of music
I've done a TON of them, many before joining SDA, probably more than any other one person (definitely plurality though, not majority). I do at least a little bit of editing to most of the new ones too (like M&M6). Mike has done a whole bunch too, but now he's lazy and usually forces me to do the ones that fall through the cracks.

I was just talking with IsraeliRD about this yesterday for some reason. Even addressed the KH one. I'm lazy so I'll paste. I must say the blurbs are my favorite part of SDA minus the runs of course. I love how cobbled together and ghetto they are. How there is absolutely no style guideline so they all sound differently, except ones by the same person. The really old ones are also often "funny or absurd," just by accident. I love how short and lazy and boldly unprofessional some of them are. Even the really serious ones are funny to me.

Let's talk about this underappreciated topic!


Quote:
<IsraeliRD> I haven't done a commentary for the game page (game description), I think it would be more entertaining if you would do it.
<Enhasa> lol ok 
<Enhasa> actually i do love how random the game descriptions are 
<Enhasa> given that so many different people have written them 
<IsraeliRD> I found quite a lot of them amusing
<Enhasa> any in particular? 
<IsraeliRD> a fair few, I browse through the entire archive
<IsraeliRD> *literally* downloaded over 100 speedruns to date
<IsraeliRD> ah
<IsraeliRD> here's one
<IsraeliRD> Kung Fu
<IsraeliRD> that description was the very single reason I ever downloaded the run
<IsraeliRD> the midget bit
<Enhasa> yeah if you ask, i can tell you who wrote the description for a lot of these 
<Enhasa> that one was vgmr 
<IsraeliRD> I can see what Tiki would've written :p
<IsraeliRD> there was also this description that said about a japenese game that was made in japan but not released there
<IsraeliRD> it was from the latest speedruns I think
<Enhasa> yeah, monster party 
<Enhasa> i wrote that one 

<Enhasa> and oh yeah btw, my favorite intro might be kingdom hearts 2 
<Enhasa> the really funny thing about that is that essentia was going to give a kh1 intro but didn't get it in time 
<IsraeliRD> haha @ kh2
<IsraeliRD> i saw that
<Enhasa> so for kh1 i originally reused the kh2 one *exactly*, only replacing the year =D 
<Enhasa> bc it fits exactly 
<Enhasa> even the month 
<Enhasa> but then the next day or so essentia pm'd hers 
<Enhasa> hers is good too though 
<Enhasa> also you would never guess that she wrote the ff10 one 
<IsraeliRD> nope Tongue
<Enhasa> i think it's even more funny if you know it's her 
<Enhasa> quest to rid the world of Sin (the monster, not the transgression) 
<IsraeliRD> yup, she's catholic I think
<IsraeliRD> she mentioned it in her game comments
<IsraeliRD> i always read those, they heavily influence me and my decision on getting a speedrun
<IsraeliRD> jurassic park II for example
<IsraeliRD> contra descriptions are good
<Enhasa> yeah those are mike 
<Enhasa> he has a bit of a distinguishable style, really funny too 
Yoshi's eggs are at my mercy!
Yeah, very niche topic of discussion here!

I've produced the descriptions for both my Crash Bandicoot speedruns, and would like to redo the Yoshi's Island one whenever I actually get an update of content on its since I really don't like it ATM and feel it deserves much better. This is also the perfect opportunity to clarify some of the comments made on the Crash descriptions:

Quote:
Released in October 1997, Naughty Dog decided to make a game that didn't suck[1]. The result was Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back. Many Crash enthusiasts today believe Crash 2 is the best title in the Crash series[2], claiming Crash 3 strays too far from Crash's platforming roots in favor of some substandard levels starring Cocoa[3].


1) A game that didn't suck: that's me blasting my opinion referencing my dissatisfaction with Crash 1 as a game compared to how astronomically-better Crash 2 is.
2) Many Crash enthusiasts: Again, really that's me with the opinion in this sentence pretending to speak for the masses.
3) Levels with Cocoa: I'm sure I'm not the only one who hated the developing trend then (though much worse in modern gaming) of including random vehicle-levels or random shooting mini-games in a platformer for the sake of variety.

Quote:
October 1998 marked the end of the triumphant era of platforming bandicoots. Many critics agreed that this game was the pinnacle of what the bandicoot has starred in so far. So, what does Sony do about this? Buy out Naughty Dog as a first party developer doomed to make non-Crash PlayStation-exclusive titles forever, and force them to sell the Crash Bandicoot property to crappy developers who have struggled to produce a decent Crash game since.


I wanted to shed some light on the situation of why Crash Bandicoot as a franchise now is a giant sack of shit. No better place than SDA right? I wanted to emphasize that Naughty Dog, original developer of Crash Bandicoot, lost the license for Crash in the transition of becoming a second-party developer for Sony. Meanwhile Crash became the neighborhood whore switching developers like no one's business and following an embarrassing path of mediocrity and switching the targeted demographic to 5-year old 'tard children similar to the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise ATM.

In general though, I'm pretty sure I'll always try to reveal obscure facts about the games I speedrun in the titles I produce, give insults to developers or producers if it's due, include a comedic tone if possible, and end on a note of praise if I find it's deserved (something that eventual Drake of the 99 Dragons speedrun will certainly lack!).
Everything's better with Magitek
My theory on writing the game intros is that most people who read them will have already played the game, so instead of telling them something they already know, I'll write something that I hope will be entertaining (or at least make them smile).

Quote from Enhasa:
<IsraeliRD> yup, she's catholic I think


I really had to lol when I read that. Smiley
everybody wanna tell you the meaning of music
Quote from Essentia:
My theory on writing the game intros is that most people who read them will have already played the game, so instead of telling them something they already know, I'll write something that I hope will be entertaining (or at least make them smile).

Quote from Enhasa:
<IsraeliRD> yup, she's catholic I think


I really had to lol when I read that. Smiley

He clearly needs to click the link in your sig. 8)

And yep, I agree with Essentia. I love goofy, funny stuff.
Some people think they can outsmart me.
I've done a few.

I've tried to make them informative to the people who don't know about the game. The people who have played a game (I suspect) don't bother reading the description. They might skim the comments before downloading a version, or skim the comments while downloading a version, but that's about it. I suspect it's the people who cross the main page, see the news post of a new speedrun, and click the link.

Kind of like Phineas Barnum. I try to sucker them in.



@Enhasa
I knew you'd edit that Mechwarrior 3 description. That's why I made two seperate paragraphs.

I was waiting for you on that one, buddy. I had your name AND your number.
sda loyalist
I honestly can't remember which ones I've done. Obviously they are very low key and dull.

Wait, I think I did BG: Dark Alliance. That one sounds like me. I can't have done Morrowind because it has a typo in it. Maybe I did FFIX too?
Everything's better with Magitek
I did FFIX. Grin
sda loyalist
Both FFIX and FFX sound like me, so yeah, I'm very confused now. Roll Eyes
Everything's better with Magitek
Quote from lag:
Both FFIX and FFX sound like me, so yeah, I'm very confused now. Roll Eyes


Does this mean that I'm channeling lag? Shocked